‘The Maxims of Manhood’

‘The Maxims of Manhood’ by Jeff Wilser

3. Know how to give a compliment: When complimenting a buddy, compliment his new car, TV, gaming system, or power tool… even if yours is bigger and shinier and better.

When complimenting a coworker, ensure the right person gets the right credit. Don’t just lavish praise on the boss; speak up when the junior person worked until midnight. Acknowledge the behind-the-scenes stuff that gets overlooked.

You should never compliment a woman’s appearance in the workplace. You must act as if women look like pencil sharpeners: they’re not pretty, not ugly; they’re just competent, sexless machines that get the job done, same as a man.

10. Never take sides against the family: Your fidelity to your family trumps your job, your career, your every ambition in life.

21. Use every four-letter word but one: Never tell her you love her as a means of apology. Never tell her you love her so that she’ll sleep with you.

23. Only fear one thing: Why make a lifelong commitment based on a feeling of caprice? People change. Unlike your shoes, dog, or comic books, the girl can change — — you can change. You’ll commit when you positively absolutely must. And not a moment sooner.

Once we actually make the commitment, we honour it, we embrace it. The maxims of manhood do not condone cheating.

39. Test yourself: Flings, hookups, and casual sex are all fun and games until someone gets chlamydia. With 15 million new flare-ups of STDs in the United States every year, you have 15 million reasons to get tested.

57. No face time: When you play it right, the adherence to humane, normal work hours actually makes you look more competent. It shows that you’re organized, you’re efficient, and that you have a backbone. Embrace this attitude: ‘If you’re working four hours longer than your expected workday, then you’re doing your job wrong.

93. Hate the fondler, not the phone: A phone fondler is a guy who has his BlackBerry glued to his palm. He’s always stroking it, reading it, typing on it, caressing it. If it’s out of his sight more than thirty seconds, he panics, freaks out, like Gollum and his precious.

You may not look at your phone more than you look at the other people in the room. It appears sulky and even bitchy. You become less interesting.

You may not use your phone at a table decoration. Don’t keep it out in front of you. The phone-on-table is like putting a stack of hundred-dollar bills on your plate and gazing at them fondly.

May dessert

Recently, I’ve come across a Jazz musician known as Karen Souza. I was immediately intrigued by her sexy voice. I listened to her album, ‘Hotel Souza’ at first. Her low-pitch voice had a special appeal. Then her another album ‘Essentials II’ includes songs that are more energetic, which show that she could master ‘loud’ songs besides traditional mellow jazz ones.

It is worthwhile searching for more of her performances if you like.