‘Things No one Taught us about Love’ (VII)
This week, we’ll continue with ‘Things No one Taught us about Love’ by Vex King.
62. Relationships aren’t an Instagram highlight reel. There’s usually no music swelling when you go in for a kiss. No beautiful sunset backlighting your tender embrace. For the most part, a healthy relationship is resilient, enduring, balanced, consistent, stable and sometimes boring.
63. In some cases, boredom can be a sign of stagnation. If the connection is fading, then other energetic changes will occur too, like a lack of attention, apathy and emotional distance.
64. You are not your partner’s saviour. True care involves stepping back, allowing them to be their own person, and gently nurturing their growth from a place of compassion, understanding and trust.
65. Allow our partners to stumble and rise. Guide, but don’t control. Advise, but don’t command. Support, but don’t disable their journey.
66. Shift the focus back to yourself. Allow them to see you. Allow yourself to become vulnerable; and allow them to be in charge of their own emotions and reactions.
67. Listening has everything to do with others. It’s an offering of time, space and other emotional resources. It’s an invitation to be seen, felt, heard and understood. It’s a pause from our own point of awareness to take a peek into someone else’s.
68. Everyone’s experience is valid, and by acknowledging their feelings without judgment, you create an atmosphere of acceptance.
69. Every relationship is different, and there’s no external model you should be following. It’s more important to pay attention to how you feel in the relationship, and how it honours your needs and allows you space to grow than it is to use external benchmarks.
70. Maintain respect in every action towards and conversation with each other and yourself. Establish emotional and physical closeness. Don’t let long talks and deep conversation fade.
71. Be honest in the process, even if it means having different conversations. Honesty ensures we are making the right decisions for ourselves and the needs of the relationship.
